It's October I suppose

It's October I suppose

What is being alone like for you? Is it a more positive or negative experience?

Wait for it. 

Where do you go to be alone? What do you do there?

I wrote this in bed, at 11PM. 

What kind of self-care/other things do you do when you feel lonely?

I’m listening to upbeat music as I do.

Do you have a playlist of things to listen to when you’re alone? 

I couldn’t tell you what songs. Only that they move quick and they are not quiet. 

Books or films you like to read/watch alone?

New books and old favourite films, except, except I fall into them and I cannot afford to lose more—

Do you have anyone you like to be “alone together” with?

Yes.

Do you plan to or currently live alone? 

Plan?

Are you looking to live or currently living with a partner or roommate?

My brother is in his room, my Dad is home for the weekend. Its temporary.

Do you connect your aromanticism to feelings of loneliness?

No, never, I don’t want this to touch that. 

The opposite?

I don’t know.

Let me try again.

What is being alone like for you? Is it a more positive or negative experience?

It’s fine.

Where do you go to be alone? What do you do there?

The compass I hold points me north. It is an old, rusted thing. 

My GPS waits for instruction. Neither of us speaks. 

No matter how I reach I cannot fit a map within my arms. The lay of them has become too nebulous for me too grasp.

Time skips like a rock. 

I splash down on a Friday night, a birthday party, a family gathering.

And in between the days skip, skip, skip. 

The skies ahead are dark, empty, endless, or nonexistent. I cannot tell anymore. 

I know that the sun rises each morning and I know that it sets, but for what?

For what?

What kind of self-care/other things do you do when you feel lonely?

I write, you see.

Do you have a playlist of things to listen to when you’re alone? 

Ha! Always.

Books or films you like to read/watch alone?

No.

Do you have anyone you like to be “alone together” with?

Yes, anyone.

Do you plan to or currently live alone? 

See above.

Are you looking to live or currently living with a partner or roommate?

See above.

Do you connect your aromanticism to feelings of loneliness?

No, of course not.

The opposite?

Do I connect my aromanticism to feelings of togetherness? 

Of course. I’m here, answering these questions.

I’m hoping it helps.